On the latest episode of “Major Crimes,†if the team couldn’t come to Hollywood, Hollywood came to the team, with all the requisite bells and whistles, in “Cutting Loose.†When a moderately popular celebrity came in to discuss the murder of his stalker, the station pulled out all the stops, in a clever way to put the star at ease while also managing to keep him from lawyering up while they figured out what was going on. So, naturally, the investigation went viral in no time and the press eventually descended upon the precinct to await the results: did he or didn’t he do it?
This was a really fun episode, with former “90210â€-star Luke Perry as Jonny Worth, star of “Badge of Justice,†aka the show that Tao advises for, in a bid for a little money on the side to help put his kids through college. The former star of the sitcom “Cutting Looseâ€-hence the episode title- Worth had seen better days, and with his latest show currently “on the bubble,†as we say in the biz, this also meant that Tao’s side checks were in danger of going away as well. The faster the team could clear Worth, the better it was for the show, and the better it was for Tao, so all stops were pulled to do so.
I just loved the amusing bits with the industry jargon, and Tao explaining the terminology to a bemused Provenza and Flynn. Even better, as someone who fields my fair share of comments about the shows I review, particularly ones of a crime procedural nature, and how often they are factually incorrect and at times even ludicrous, I really appreciated the scene with the ME grousing about how “Badge of Justice†should have already been cancelled because of all the inaccuracies- not to mention the fake-looking “morgue.†LOL.
Okay, so the haters have their points. Yes, most crimes don’t tend to be solved in a day or two and most forensics people don’t have access to all the tech we see on the likes of “CSI.†Some of the jobs on these shows aren’t even a thing, for that matter- they’re completely made-up fictional positions that no one holds IRL. But TV is what it is, and you often have to take the good with the bad, and, while I could point out that the same exact thing happened in this very show and a complex crime was solved in the space of about a day, who cares? It’s a freaking show, people. It isn’t supposed to be real- that’s why they call it fiction.
Sure, it’s not too much to ask for the occasional smartly-written endeavor that actually rings true as possible, but isn’t it better to entertain, even if it means sometimes throwing logic and good sense out the window? I mean, is anybody really questioning the believability of, say, a vampire or witch show? Okay, I actually did get some for “Salem†from people who thought it wasn’t historically accurate enough, but you get my meaning- and it sort of proves my point as well. TV isn’t always meant to be taken seriously, or at least as seriously as some do. Sometimes you’ve got to check your brain at the door, or no one would be able to entertain to the extent they do.
This “Major Crimes†episode was certainly entertaining, whether it was believable or not. Hell, even I figured it was probably the husband who did it, knowing that it’s standard crime procedural practice for the second-tier star to be the one who did it in a show with a name guest star, if it isn’t the headline star themselves. Here, we had Dan Bakkedahl- not exactly a household name, sure, but certainly well-known enough to us film and TV geeks and critics, for the likes of “Veep†and “Legit,†most recently. Besides, the guy’s wife, aka the victim, was in love with a celebrity to a decidedly disturbing level, so the motive was there for him where it wasn’t for anyone else, really.
I will admit, part of me hoped it was the assistant, Kiki (Kate Morgan Chadwick), partially for being named freaking Kiki, and also because the idea of a constantly texting phonebot- a la Brie Larson’s character in “Don Jonâ€- being a celebrity stalker-turned-psycho-killer amused me, as did the actress. But having Kiki punching the suspect for getting her fired was pretty sweet, too. I kind of loved that character, if I’m being honest, which probably says a lot about me, since she barely said a word.
But I so know many people like that, and oh my God, put down the phone already and live your lives, for God’s sake! I especially hate it at rock concerts- watch the show, people, and you won’t have to record it! And, of course, using a phone at the movies are a big no-no in my book as a movie critic as well, at least once the film starts, though you should really put it down when the trailers start to roll. Newsflash: some people like to watch those in peace, too! Okay- rant over.
Great moments in the episode: the “bubble†conversation; the word of the day: “frass†(aka insect excrement); Jon’s thrill at being on the murder board (which he eventually bought!); Jon’ fixing his hair in the reflection of the officers who died in the line of duty plaque; the ladies fawning over him, especially D.D.A. Andrea, who was adorably smitten with Jon; the Jon-themed website and fan fiction (no, it’s not real, and yes, I checked, sadly on both counts); the mountain of horrific fan stuff Zelda owned and the sight of some of the team wheeling it in, i.e. the stand-up cut-out; the return of Sanchez and the taken aback look on his face when Raydor hugged him.
There was also Jon’s line: “My problem is, I try to be nice to everybody- especially in hot tubsâ€- LOL. The valley girl (Marisa Chen Moller) storage unit chick’s recap of what she’d just told the cops: “Uh, it was cute and it was red and it was a convertibleâ€- double LOL. Lastly, there was the priceless look on Tao’s face when the murderer said: “What kind of deviant rides around with bolt cutters all the time?†Who has two thumbs and is pointing them at himself? This guy.
There was also the reveal that Jon had Instagram-ed a semi-selfie (which Tao took!) and tweeted about the situation online from the station himself, thus alerting the media in the process and angering Taylor; and the bit at Rusty’s party where Taylor finally acknowledged what many of us were thinking and almost afraid to say because of the reaction of others, given his past: that most everyone wanted to kill Rusty at some point- and not just the wacko after him. Talk about a bucket of win- top to bottom, this was a great episode.
I thought for sure the one with the doggie death (“Frozen Assets,†written by Adam Belanoff) would end up my favorite guilty pleasure of the season, but this one may have taken the cake. I felt so strongly about it I had to web-stalk the writer to find out who it was, but I’m happy to report it was the interestingly-named Duppy Demetrius, a five-time previous writer for the show who also wrote for “The Closer†and “24.†Kudos to him for writing such a fun one, and by all means, keep up the good work, guys!
The hilarious thing is, I’ve never followed actor Luke Perry’s career- I’ve never even seen a single episode of “90210â€- but this was the most entertained I’ve ever been by his work by a country mile. Maybe he should go the James Van Der Beek route (a la “Don’t Trust the ‘B’ in Apt. 23â€) and get a role parodying himself on a sitcom or something, because he was really funny here, and the prime reason this episode worked as well as it did. As ever, it’s often all about the casting- and of course, the writing. Well, this writer enjoyed it just fine, inaccuracies be damned, for whatever that’s worth.
What did you think of “Major Crimes†this week? Did you also get a kick out of the episode, or do you prefer the more serious ones? Would you watch a show with Perry parodying himself? Can you wait until someone writes an episode of one these shows in which a person constantly on the phone is either the murderer or the victim? (Okay, that one just might be me.) Did you ever have a celebrity crush you were semi-obsessive over? (Mine was Sarah Michelle Gellar, circa “Buffyâ€- though I still love her, don’t get me wrong!) What has been your favorite episode of the season so far? Sound off below, and I’ll see you next week, my fearless fellow armchair critics!